This is a fact if we are willing to face it: the old is dissolving. Everywhere we look, systems, structures, and institutions are dissolving. These facets of reality we have always taken for granted are not sustainable. They are no longer “fit for purpose” in our complex world and Earth, who is in her own massive transformation as the planet warms.
What if we were to imagine it not as the end, but a new beginning? What if we were to agree we are in a chrysalis? Or a birth canal? In which there is only one way, and it is through.
We are witness to, and likely a part of, polarized energies that are playing themselves out all over the globe. First and foremost, it’s time to surrender, and let go of all expectations about how it should be and recognize that giving voice to our desire to lament about the state of the world or hand wring about what is or isn’t happening—those energies focus our attention on lack, limitation, dis-ease and disharmony. Certainly, we can each express our dissatisfaction in ways that feel important to us. AND,
What if we focused most of our energy on carrying our own torches and keeping our hearts soft so that we can engage with a world in transition, helping to create what it will look like when we emerge from the chrysalis.
Kahlil Gibran writes in his poem, Fear:
It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.
She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.
And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.
But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.
Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.
The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.
What are we becoming? Is it possible it will be much better than what we are?
For sure, visionaries predict it may get worse before it gets better, this “breaking down in order to break through” to a new Earth.
To survive these stressors, and even cultivate a Life of Magic and Miracles, I believe the heart is a gateway, and a soft heart signifies a heart that is willing to be transformed by God’s power that lives inside us, moving away from insensitivity, “othering,” and fear.
A beautiful soul recently reminded me that while we humans dedicate ourselves to going to the gym or to maintaining our garden or boats or to our family’s needs, we forget that the heart is a powerful magnetic life force that can get calcified by hurts, grief, disappointments, and anger.
In what can be described as a death of a thousands cuts – any time you feel slighted, betrayed, shocked, dissed, sad or angry – another piece of your heart hardens.
In my view, we must all get serious about dedicating just as much time and practice to softening our hearts so they stay open, we stay buoyant and untriggered by the shocks of living, which always seem to pull us out of harmony and alignment.
Funnily enough, it reminds me of grilling. Before John puts something on the grill, he takes a little tool, turns on the heat, and scrapes away any of the hardened bits from previous grilling that could ruin his tasty meal.
Am I saying we all need a little grill scraper for our hearts? Not really, (although John ready to set up a little table outside church)😊 As a practice, perhaps daily we can scrape off all the ways our hearts have become hardened.
Why does it matter? you might be asking. Well as a minimum, it’s not very fun walking around with the armor of a hard heart. Yogi mystic Manny Muros reminds us that “the armor blocks our ability to see the light and to be the light.” We take offense more easily, we rush to anger, we react. We become trapped in a vibrational template of “more of the same.”
I’ve spoken before about how we are Creators, and so the feelings we feel today become the ingredients for what we attract tomorrow. And our thoughts and feelings are impacting the whole collective.
On my best days, I am careful with the words I say, the feelings I feed, and the thoughts I think. On my best days. So how do we create more of our “best days?” How do we soften our hearts during these times when stress, anxiety, and overwhelm are out of control?
In the bulletin’s insert, I share a few resources for techniques I’ve learned lately. I realize in order for me to truly be in awe and wonder at times when I walk in the woods or invite beloved friends or family for dinner, or seek beauty, like art and music, I need to have a soft heart first.
How about we take a “temperature check” right now to investigate the feelings that are hogging up all the space in our hearts. Let’s tune in: You might close your eyes and place your hands on your heart. Breathe a few times, and imagine your hands as little measuring devices to read the predominant feeling?
Is it worry? Fear? Anger? Grief? Resentment?
Is it gratitude? Appreciation? Curiosity? Compassion?
To walk in our tumultuous world is to be wounded by it. But the scientists and mystics all say to let the “unhelpful feelings” move through you; don’t let them take up residence in your heart.
A practice you may be familiar with is the Lovingkindness meditation, or the Meta prayer. Lovingkindness is a natural opening of a compassionate heart. It’s a wish that everyone be happy.
How about we practice a portion of it, starting inward. Remind yourself of your basic goodness. Bring to your minds eye a time you have been kind or generous. …Put yourself in the scene and allow tender feelings about yourself to flow through you. ….Notice how you feel in your body. Some warmth perhaps or a smile or a sense of expansiveness. This is lovingkindness, a natural feeling that is accessible to all of us…always, starting within.
Now, allow your awareness to open out in all directions… a dear one, a neutral person and even a difficult person… all beings…two-leggeds, four-leggeds, creepy crawlies, winged ones, standing ones, finned ones…. Every being living on Earth who may be in circumstances of abundance, poverty, war, habitat destruction, peace, hunger, or fulfillment… … With your attention on all beings, repeat after me:
- May all beings be filled with lovingkindness…
- May all beings be happy…
- May all beings be free…
- May all beings know the natural joy of being alive …
What else? Feel free to voice your wish out loud. May all beings …_______(Feel Serenity, Have Acceptance, Be In wonder, Learn to Trust)
….Bringing this practice to a close, we can express gratitude and appreciation for the time we spent sending lovingkindness out into the world.
Another practice I use is the Infinity Wave, because there are times you may not be able to “get there” with a loving kindness meditation.
What about that person in my life who really wounded me or violated my trust? you may be thinking. I get it. During the journey to publishing my novel, A MOON IN ALL THINGS, I discovered that someone had uploaded my entire manuscript to Chat GPT just so they could ask Chat GPT to come up with an AI-generated book-trailer and associated marketing language to describe the book. MY copywritten material on Chat GPT, without my knowledge or consent. Can you imagine my outrage?
After crafting an email that was as diplomatic as I had in me, requesting the immediate removal of my manuscript from Chat GPT, I realized the truth: I have to be in relationship with this person, and staying angry will only cause a “charge between us” and influence the next conversation and the next situation. So I had to neutralize that hurtful charge I was carrying. This was not easy, but I’ve found help with The Infinity Wave.
Hope Fitzgerald, author of “The Infinity Wave: Mastering the Art of Love, Compassion and Flow” suggests there is magic in imagining the infinity symbol flowing like crests of water from you to another person. She writes, “The Infinity Wave is a gift from a loving Universe for the chaotic times we’re in, and it’s meant to help us evolve by keeping us in a flow state while we navigate these highly charged seas [of right/wrong and good/bad]. It’s a living energy, … It will teach you and change you if you let it. … I have witnessed 180-degree shifts in seconds using the Infinity Wave.”
Part of what I imagine the magic is, has to do with creating a quantum energy field where new possibilities are supported instead of our ingrained knee-jerk reactions.
During the perils and pitfalls of the publishing process, I relied on the Infinity Wave as if it were a life preserver, and—so far—it’s worked. The charge is gone.
Another technique that has gained quite a lot of attention and interest is Coherent breathing.
Coherent breathing is a practice of breathing with depth and rhyth-micity. It is quite simple, and involves approximately ~5.5 seconds of inhale and 5.5 seconds of exhale, focusing specifically on relaxing during exhalation. More study is underway about the benefits, and it is thought that Heart Rate Variability increases, a good thing. Coherent breathing is also associated with increased cardiovascular health, reduced inflammation, and increased alignment between the heart and the brain. In your insert, there is a link to a youtube video that counts the 5.5 seconds for you, with two bells—one for the inhale and one for the exhale. Experts recommend 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening will also lead to deeper breathing and calmer nervous systems all the way around.
A final practice I’ve added is about Belief Breaking. When I catch myself in a limiting belief and I “flip it” or “break it.”
Examples these days are always coming from my author’s journey. One Saturday morning, I was dreading the idea of driving the 2.5 hours to a Books-A-Million store in Western New Hampshire, because I had experienced that sitting at a table at a bookstore, without doing a book talk, was akin to being a pariah—”avoid the table, looks like she’s selling something.” At other stores, I had only sold a couple books. It was dispiriting!
Then I caught myself in a limiting belief: If I don’t sell a large number of books, it’s a waste of time. My friend, Fran, wisely suggested I set the intention of “looking for the miracles and the magic,” instead. I flipped my belief.
And as a result, I had two beautiful encounters that had nothing to do with book-selling. Wow, this stuff works!
Just last week it occurred to me that my procrastination on my novel’s sequel had to do with me carrying the belief that the sequel would be a disappointment to me and everyone. So, I broke the belief by saying, “I believe, I’m afraid, my sequel will disappoint me and other readers/reviewers … and I break it.” (moving my hand from my heart over my head)
Imagine for yourself a belief you are holding that limits your awe, your joy, your capacity to engage with life just as it is. You might try belief-breaking.
Mathew McConaughy, in his new book, “Poems and Prayers,” talks about how we need more than hope today. He says, we need belief. “We need a creed, a frequency, a station that all of us can tune into and agree” there are a zillion reasons to believe in, and dream in, a better world.
What I believe in, is the need for heart-softening practices. With that “medicine” we can:
- Immerse ourselves in nature where awe, wonder and joy reveal themselves—because we are in that frequency.
- Walk with an intention to “show me the magic, show me the miracles,’ and find delight in anything that shows up.
- Know life is being done FOR us, not TO us.
- Offer Service to others where our generosity comes back to us one hundred fold, and not because we expected it.
- Move through this great transition, in the birth canal carrying a belief supported by Arundhati Roy, author of “The God of Small Things,” who says, “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”
I will confess that the more I attend to my heart, the more I recognize when it has become hardened and I take action to soften it. Because the heart is the gateway to bringing about harmony and unity consciousness, to living a life of deep meaning, to offering service to something greater, and being in a dance of awe and wonder.
As we approach the holidays—and they will be here before we know it—my invitation is to enter the mystery of the darkening days without falling blindly into the trap of holiday over-do. What may be overdue is an intimate, slowed down practice of heart-softening day after day. Can you imagine mixing it up a little in the next three months? Experimenting with a new practice? Changing up the family dynamics to call for nourishment from the inside out?
Scrooge, afterall, had the ultimate heart-softening experience, but I’m pretty sure we don’t want to be visited by three ghosts in order to achieve that result. My wish for you, and me, and all of us, is that we find a practice that returns us over and over to open-heartedness, and in the words of Hafiz in his poem, Be Polite, “Everyone is God speaking. Why not be polite and listen to them?”
VIDEO
To conclude, I share with you a video of photos that many here provided in response to the prompt: What softens your heart? May it bring its own medicine. https://youtu.be/hdMADlEwkl0
Songs Played by Jen Comeau and Michelle Curry at service:
- Soften the Ground, by Wiley Beveridge.
- Don’t You Go Letting Life Harden Your Heart, by Jennifer Comeau: https://youtu.be/BKd8V-lCiXs?si=nRPo0RpBpukSv3Il
- Peace in This House, by Wynonna: https://youtu.be/OcBzPdPnBVk?si=msAvlVtL6pDICn3u