Doctor Visit – Rev. Steve Garnaas-Holmes. Retired United Methodist Pastor
Unfolding Light www.unfoldinglight.net
Doctor, something’s wrong with me.
I have a pain here, I think it’s my heart,
does it look sore to you,
this hope I have for the future?
My rib cage, people in cages, it hurts.
My eyes ache, seeing masked men
whisking children away. Do I need drops?
Doc, it hurts when I lie. Is that normal?
I’ve eaten fine, but I’m still hungry,
this nagging hunger, this little
child in Gaza. Can I take something for that?
There’s a ringing in my ears, a voice
at a microphone making up hateful slurs.
I think I have an infection, something
in my blood, hate and fear and dread.
Something like cement, or iron bars in my chest,
parts of me disappeared to a foreign country.
I mean, nobody’s died, so why this grief?
I ache from being tackled and thrown, well,
not me but the woman in the video, but I feel it.
This slate-heavy emptiness trembling in my gut—
what is that? There’s a fever in my planet.
Doc, I can’t breathe, and I’m dizzy, like vertigo,
standing on the edge of a cliff, falling
into some darkness generations long.
Is there a cure?
Yes, with you,
and within you all.
Is the Lord Among Us or Not?
January 26, 2026 2,126 people were found to be either sleeping outside or in a shelter, motel or transitional housing – the day the Point in Time Homeless Count was conducted. And more are living outside because shelters are full. Seeds of Hope housed 60+ every night this winter, people who would otherwise have been outside on the cold winter nights.
The affected population of food insecurity: in our county is about 27,000 individuals, including 7,000 children, struggle with hunger across York County.
Our current political climate brings out both the best and worst in us. It highlights global atrocities and hatred that most of us didn’t believe possible of our fellow human beings. The 25th Anniversary of 9/11 reminds us of the real consequences of hatred for the other – innocent lives snuffed out within minutes and in the one of the names given to God. And lest we get too cocky, the list of Christian violence is equally abhorrent.
Is the Lord Among Us or Not?
But before you become discouraged by the examples given, the good news is that God is among us. God is not responsible for the atrocities described. God didn’t kill the victims of 9/11; nor does God turn Gods back on the unhoused or hungry. God doesn’t smite certain groups of people. We do.
If you remember the story of Creation and the Fall, remember the importance of God’s gift of free will to humankind. God gave free will to humanity that we may choose to love or not. God gave us free will so that we may open our hearts to the prophets and learn from their wisdom, or not. We were given the Law, and subsequent teachings, and our supreme teacher, Jesus Christ, so that we might know how we should live and care for each other. We either choose to live by those laws, or not.
With free will comes responsibility. Yes, we can make choices. It is up to us to decide when and for whom to care. We can choose to live insular lives heeding to our own needs with little regard for others. But if we choose that path, we have turned away from God.
The blessing, and the challenge, of free will is to recognize that God has placed before us the tools we need to serve God and each other. We have been shown repeatedly through scripture and through other forms of revelation that we have a duty to care for each other. It can be so easy to point a finger elsewhere and say, “That’s not my problem; it belongs over there.” And “There’s nothing I can do about that.” We are free to take that stand, but if we do, we are perpetuating our destruction. Every time a child dies of starvation and poverty, I am responsible. Each time a black man or immigrant or anyone looking “suspicious” is stopped and harassed by the police for no reason, I have contributed to that act. If I cannot say that I have done all that I can to end the oppression of my brothers and sisters, then I am contributing to that oppression.
Is God Among Us Or Not? If God is not behind the violence and oppression, where is God? Well, there are a number of places God can be found. One of the clearest places is in the suffering victims. Rev. Peter Gomes of Harvard Divinity School says that “Suffering, joy and mystery are those points where the human and the Divine come into the most intimate and profound of proximities.” As I learn more about instances of violence and alienation, it is in the strength, the courage, the dignity of the suffering that we have glimpses of the face of God. God is the first one to cry.
I am deeply humbled by the way in which people have been sustained by God to survive their suffering. At Seeds of Hope, I witnessed a strength and resilience that seemed nearly impossible. And in most instances, individuals have some sense of the sacred upon which they draw their strength. Rather than impose the suffering, God grieves, salves the wound, and empowers the heart to go on.
Another place where God is evident is in children. Before they become corrupted by the fear, insecurities, and confusion of adults, their natural way of being mirrors the purity of God’s love. Children speak their minds without malice, they seek to know the “other” in joyous abandon. Can you remember a time where you experienced a moment of complete and utter joy? Can you recall the feeling? Can you feel the close presence of God with you at that moment?
A third place God can be found is in nature. This could be a whole other reflection. I won’t go into great detail about this encounter today. Suffice it to say that in the beauty of Creation, whether experiencing the first light of dawn over the ocean, the spectacular colors of a fall in New England, the quiet stillness of the land blanketed with snow, or the awesome vastness of a clear moonless sky with millions of stars surrounding us, God’s presence is clear. We need only open our eyes, our ears, our noses to Divine essence.
A final place I would urge us to seek God is in our own heart. God is there, always. We may not recognize Holiness within ourselves. We may look past it, seeking comfort in the material, in power, or in substances like alcohol, drugs or food. We may hear the faint whisper but block it out with the noise of life rather than taking time each day to listen. If we give ourselves the gift of silence, of mystery, of compassion and patience, we will find God.
You have heard me say this often. In the Episcopal Church we have something called the Baptismal Covenant which we revisit many times throughout our lives and the church year. We are asked a series of questions, beliefs we hold and/or promises we make. Some of them are tough. But our response to every question is “I will with God’s help.” It recognizes that the demands of a disciple are hard. But we have a source available to us to keep our promises. I have the Covenant hanging on the wall in my office. I turn to it often because it is clear that I cannot do it alone.
I want to end on a slightly lighter note. One of the things I love about the scripture we read today, and makes me laugh at myself, is the reason for the names of the locations – that the people quarreled with and tested God. How many times do we do this? How many times do we want to yell at God for not solving an injustice? How many times do we use our perception of God’s inaction to excuse our own? I have a visual image of a child throwing a tantrum out of frustration when not getting something she desires. When in reality, it is only the child that can bring the tantrum to an end. It is only our own acceptance of responsibility that will bring us to the peace required to take action. Humbling lesson.
God is among us. Look with clear intention, and we will find the Holiness we seek.
Amen.