Good morning and Happy Mother’s Day. I have always appreciated the passage from the Book of Ruth we hear this morning, because it shows this beautiful relationship of love between Naomi and her daughter-in-law Ruth. And in John’s Gospel, Jesus reminds his followers that in the home of his Father, there are many rooms, and this is very important, that all are welcome into the home of love. I honestly wish there were more stories in Scripture about women and especially mothers, but we do know that Jesus’ mother was an important part of his life and stayed near him even as he died. We hear the wonderful story of the Prodigal Son and his father welcoming him home, but I would certainly trust that almost any mother would have done the same and even more. We know that mothers are most often the ones who pass along their faith to their children and grandchildren. My mother and grandmothers absolutely did and are still a source of inspiration for my life. I understand that some may have had mixed experiences with their mothers, but I pray that as the years pass, you still hold some treasured memories of your mothers or grandmothers or godmothers that may provide you with wisdom and strength. Let us pray, Mother God, hold us close and remind us of your love and acceptance. Grant us inspiration and strength for our lives and in our journeys of faith. Thank you for the beauty of new life each day. Amen.
There’s a story of A couple who was moving across the country. They decided to drive both cars. Their 8-year old son Nathan worried. “How will we keep from getting separated?”
His Dad reassured him, “We’ll drive slowly. One car can follow the other.” “But what if we DO get separated?” Nathan persisted.
“Well, then I guess we’ll never see each other again,” His Dad joked.
Nathan quickly answered. “Then I’m riding with Mom.” Many of you may remember the writer and humorist Erma Bombeck who once said, “What mother has never fallen on her knees when she has gone into her son or daughter’s bedroom and prayed, ‘Please, God, no more. You were only supposed to only give me what I could handle.’”
Being a mother is not easy. Perhaps we can remember some things we put our own mothers through when we were in our teens? Or as one mom once said, “I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.” Perhaps you, like me, have developed a greater appreciation for your parents as you grow older? I think about my parents so often and wonder how they or my grandparents dealt with the hardest times in their own lives, living through the depression or the second WW or navigating so many changes in the world and in their own lives. I wish I had the opportunity to speak with them now and gain some wisdom for these times.
The election of the new Pope this week got me thinking about so many of the mothers I met in my trips to Latin America to the poorest communities when I was a college chaplain. As you may have read, Pope Leo spent years living and working among the poor in Peru and I am heartened to hear that his emphasis on compassion and the dignity of the human person help frame his understanding of the Gospels.
I will always carry the stories of the women I met over the years in my heart. When we traveled to Ecuador and Nicaragua, we would stay in very poor communities as well and meet with community leaders there. It was so inspiring to see many women in leadership roles, whether in small economic projects to help provide money to support their families or as faith leaders in more remote locations. Many were influenced by Liberation Theology which is also a theology that has been important in my life and work.
I recall this group of women who worked a small farming cooperative in their town. They brought us out to show us the fields in which they grew crops both to feed their families as well as sell to provide income for items they needed. Some of them were single mothers and they worked so hard to juggle care for their children as well as do the hard work of tending the farmland. The nuns with whom they worked spent months convincing them to use some of their profits to help pay for dental work for many of them as they had lost teeth due to pregnancies and inadequate calcium intake. They were very proud and only agreed once they knew that it was important to their health.
In almost all cases, when women are given the money in the family, it gets spent on their children. And so it was true with these women and other communities I met over the years. These women were strong in the face of so much they were up against and my heart is sad to know how bad things have gotten in Nicaragua where they live.
A while ago, I read this story about a group of grandmothers and the power of their presence to bring healing and hope to others.
“More than 20 years ago, psychiatrist Dr. Dixon Chibanda witnessed a heartbreaking problem in his native Zimbabwe: people near and far were suffering from depression and anxiety but could not get the support they needed. At the time, Zimbabwe had only 10 psychiatrists to service its population of 13 million. There had to be a way to bridge this gap, thought the doctor. Then it dawned on him: the grandmothers. Dr. Chibanda began training 14 grandmothers, all of whom volunteered, in basic talk therapy skills. The elders brought these skills to underserved communities throughout Zimbabwe. They provided listening ears to people, meeting them in public places. Thus, the Friendship Bench project was born.
A mission and a movement, the Friendship Bench has grown incredibly. Dr. Chibanda and his team have trained more than 600 grandmothers and counting in Zimbabwe. And communities across the globe, from Zanzibar to the UK to the US, have also adopted the team’s approach. It’s been such an important, considering that hundreds of millions across the globe are suffering and seeking support and community.
In his book, The Friendship Bench: How Fourteen Grandmothers Inspired a Mental Health Revolution, he shares the story of how this all came about, illuminating elders’ wisdom and the ability for us all to make a difference. At its core, he explains that The Friendship Bench is about this very basic idea: Human beings need connection, and when human beings connect, they thrive. it’s about the power of healing through community and how connection is essential for mental well-being…At a deeper level, it’s about the wisdom of community elders and how every one of us can benefit from having a strong relationship with a community elder.
He says that what he has learned over the years is that when we create space in our communities for people to feel comfortable with being vulnerable, that’s when healing begins. Whether it’s on a bench, in a coffee shop, or somewhere else, when you create that space, healing truly begins. And the most important thing about healing is that you don’t need to be trained as a psychiatrist or a psychologist. You do need some basic principles, he believes, but every human being has the ability to express empathy given the right circumstances and the right environment.
All of our mothers have left their mark on us and I hope that we may feel their wisdom, strength and resilience when we most need it. And we know that many women understand the importance of presence, of showing up and providing a listening ear, of sharing empathy as well as concrete support like meals and cleaning when times get tough. And women have great courage because too often they have been left out of the power structures, out of decision making in too many areas, and yet quietly and in with determination, they find a way where there is no way, as the great John Lewis used to say.
If you will indulge me, another story from my personal journey that came to me after the Pope was elected. I watched his first Mass and listened to some of his Homily and it was very good in ways and then I watched him process out…and row after row after row were the Cardinals, all men, and then the choir, from what I could see all boys and men…and then, just as he was leaving the Sistine Chapel, I spot 3 women by the door standing, not even sitting…and I wondered who they were and how they felt in that moment.
When I was finishing my graduate work in Theology, I attended the Ordination of my Jesuit classmates. A group of us women had shared our plans with them, and we met and sat together in a row at the beautiful church where it took place. There was a point in the Service when the Presider asks, Who among You feels called to Ordination…and then quietly but with dignity, we rose along with our classmates. And later, many of these men told us that it was their mothers who privately cheered for us in that moment. I have come to understand that Mothers understand many things, including sorrow and joy as it’s in the job description. They carry the pain of their children and other mothers’ children with them always. So this morning, let us give thanks to God for our mothers as we pray for all mothers, especially those who carry more sorrow than joy because of the challenges they face to care for those they love.
-From Maria Shriver’s The Sunday Paper Interview with Dr. Dixon Chibanda, MD, the founder of the Friendship Bench, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Zimbabwe and the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, the Director of the African Mental Health Initiative (AMARI), and a founding member of the Coalition for Scaling Mental Health. You can learn more and access information about getting involved in Friendship Bench at friendshipbench.org.